Counting
by LiveinLivingColor
Summary: Addison Shepherd is counting. Addison centric, Addek. Written for addek secret santa.


Addison is counting.

Three Hours and 21 minutes

_She sits in the gallery of one of his surgeries and wonders what Godly forces had gathered together to pull her and Derek apart._

One week, four hours and 45 minutes

"_An adulterous love child?"_ _She asks him as he runs down the stairs._

"_Goes along with an adulterous sociopath." He snaps, rushing to Meredith's side._

One week, seven hours and 22 minutes

"_Right. Derek. I want him to be the one." Meredith says, looking up at Addison from her hospital bed._

_She averts her eyes and hears Meredith go on._

"_But how do I know if he's the one? I mean, you knew."_

_She sighs and forces a small smile. "You don't…I didn't know, really. Derek's just the kind of guy…I knew he wouldn't hurt me. Not on purpose, anyway, not like I hurt him."_

_She feels herself taking the blame for things whose fault isn't hers, but maybe she's just saying them to put reason to where they are now._

One month, 1 hour and 5 minutes

_She walks out of her patients' room, leaving Meredith to talk to the daughter of the wife and ex-husband that she had to deal with today. As she's walking down the hallway, she hears two young nurses whispering in the corner._

"_Can you believe it? They got stuck!"_

"_Stuck?"_

"_Yeah, on a piercing the guy has!"_

"_Seriously!"_

_Addison smiles a little at the childish gossip that goes on, but her smile fades when they keep going._

"_You know, I'll bet you my best case that that'll be Montgomery and Shepherd in a few months."_

"_What?! Does Doctor Shepherd have a…"_

"_No! I'm just saying, they'll relapse and slip back to each other eventually. You know it's bound to happen."_

_She walks away as fast as she can, throwing the nurses a glare as she passes._

Three months, 5 hours and 32 minutes

_She didn't know why. Why this would effect her this much, after all this time…She sees stillborn babies all the time. But once you've seen your own, it's never the same._

_As she sits in a bathroom stall crying, she knows she can't tell anyone. This is her secret. The Derek and Addison secret of all time, because she knows if she tells someone she'll break again._

_So for now, she takes Callie's hand and gets off the floor, because there are lives she needs to save._

Eight Months, 6 hours and 57 minutes

_They've been having fights. The golden couple, Seattle Grace's meant-to-be are having fights. She pretends not to be glad when she sees or hears them, yelling at each other in the hallway._

_She knows she shouldn't be glad, because she knows what fighting with Derek is like._

_But she is, because she's glad he isn't fighting with her._

11 months, 1 hour and 28 minutes

_The inevitable has happened. Some people say they knew all along, others just have shocked faces plastered on their faces and stories of what happened for anyone who will listen._

_Meredith and Derek have broken up._

_The news spread like wildfire across Seattle Grace. Addison herself found out from the source, though that's not how she wanted to find out. She would have much rather heard it from passing gossip or a nurse, because hearing it from Derek was a disaster, to say the least._

_She's walking down the hallway pretending to know what everyone's talking about, wondering if it's about her, when an arm yanks her into a supply closet. She sees the flash of familiar blue and whirls around._

"_Derek? What are you-"_

_He cuts her off, pushing her against the wall and kissing her until she can't breathe, then lets her go and whispers in her ear-_

"_I miss you."_

_She slides down the wall as he walks off casually, her mind full of wonder until she puts all the pieces together._

_Meredith and Derek have broken up._

12 months and 59 minutes

_She wasn't sure how it happened really. It was all a huge, fast moving blur, and as she recalls the events of the week in her head, it floors her._

_Monday, Mark left Seattle, his excuse being that he never came here for work in the first place, so now there's really no point. _

_Tuesday, there were flowers on her desk, and a note to meet at the parking lot and seven. Standing there waiting for her was Derek._

_Wednesday morning, he apologized and they parted ways for the day, so no one would see they'd come to work together._

_Thursday, he pulled her aside and told her it wasn't a mistake, and it happened again._

_Friday, she heard the chief in his office, and she could see Derek through the window. _

"_Shepherd, if you hurt her again I'll kill you."_

_Saturday, he was watching her surgery and when she got off from work, he was waiting for her._

_Sunday, he told her he loved her in front of half the hospital, and she could hear one small voice saying, "I told you so!"_

And now, as the clock strikes midnight, Addison looks at Derek sleeping beside her and smiles. One year since the divorce. One year since her world fell apart.

And now, one year later, she stops counting.


End file.
